Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
