It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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