Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Randomize
