I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's shark week go big or go home
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize