your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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