A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
