PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
