I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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