There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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