I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
