Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
