You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
