Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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