Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize