He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
