he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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