And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
