You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
