IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
