AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
