the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
