turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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