did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
