You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
