Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
