Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
