gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
