So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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