im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you would pick up someone in the library
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
