my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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