apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
