Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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