It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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