Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
