Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
