I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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