my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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