He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
