ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
