I never want to see another naked old woman again.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i think my cat just said my name.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
