Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
