thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Randomize
