pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
