I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
