Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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