I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
