When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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