How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
