You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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