dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
