Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
