hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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