Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
