I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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