God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
