Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize