And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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