I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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